So I've decided to chronicle all the IDIOT BRAINDEAD ASSFUCKS I deal with on a daily basis at work - that's right, the fucking MORON JACKOFF ASSCLOWNS that we call 'customers'. I'll add a new one.... hell, every time someone shits me off with their VAPID CLUELESS GROANING. TIGHTMOUTH WHINGING FUCKPIGS, all of them.

First example, customer I just had, new broadband customer. Got her shit working, all of a sudden Internet Explorer redirects to a spyware page.

Customer: "What's that?"

Me: "It's spyware, you need your computer cleaned unless you want more of it."

Customer: "Oh. Does my internet connection work?"

Me: "Yes, yes it does but..."

Customer: "Oh, so I can use it to browse now?"

Me: "Well, yes. If you want more of that crap on your computer. You need to get it
professionally cleaned before you should use the internet."

Customer: "So it's ok to use?"

Me: "Not really, it's just going to redirect to that site and install more shit every time you try."

Customer: "But you said it was working!"

Me: "......You're connected but...."

Customer: "Oh, so I'm ok to use the internet then?"

Me: "You need to get it professionally cleaned first."

Customer: "But..."

Me: "YOU NEED TO GET IT PROFESSIONALLY CLEANED."

Customer: "....So you're telling me I have to get it cleaned before I can use the internet?"

Me: "YES."

Customer: "But you said it was working!!"

Me: "..........."


WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK DO I HAVE TO SAY TO THESE FUCKING IDIOT CUNTFLAP WANKOFFS TO GET THEM TO SHUT THE FUCK UP AND LISTEN TO ME. THEY RANG ME FOR SUPPORT SO THEY SHOULD DAMN WELL SHUT THEIR GODDAMN YAPPERS AND LISTEN WHEN THEY ASK ME SHIT.

And what is with people arcing up at me when they're denied access to an account that they're not listed on, nor can they provide the correct details. IT'S CALLED PRIVACY YOU DUMB MOTHERFUCKER. IF YOU WANT TO COMMIT FRAUD GO DO IT ON SOMEONE ELSES TIME YOU COCKNOSED PIECE OF SHIT.

I just got told by some angry Russian fuck to "stop arguing" with him because he couldn't speak english well, I couldn't understand wtf he was trying to tell me, and he was making no sense. THIS IS FUCKING AUSTRALIA. IF YOU WANT TO SPEAK RUSSIAN GO BACK TO FUCKING RUSSIA YOU COMMUNIST PRICK.

And to the rest of you fucks - on that last comment: if I went to Japan I'd make sure I knew Japanese. Germany, German. WHY THE GODDAMNED SATAN-COCK-SUCKING FUCK CAN PEOPLE NOT TRY TO LEARN ENGLISH IN AN ENGLISH SPEAKING COUNTRY?? IF YOU CAN'T SPEAK MY GODDAMN LANGUAGE, DON'T EXPECT HELP AND DON'T MOUTH OFF AT ME IN YOUR DIRTY FUCKING TONGUE, I HAVE NO TIME FOR YOUR DUNDERHEADED BULLSHIT.

There, that feels alot better.